Ben's leavers blog

 Well 10+ years of Yew tree is at an end and the only word I have is, surreal. I don’t quite know whether to feel sad, overwhelmed, grateful, inspired, or all the above. It’s a whole chapter of my life that I’m stepping away from. It feels like I am making a huge mistake because surely it cannot be over, 30 odd shows, countless friends made and infinite perfect moments shared over the years, all wrapped up in one last hurrah. It is hardly the end of me being a yew tree’er because once you are a part of the family, you always are, so in reality, it will never leave me. Seeing new generations take what I’ve loved for so many years and loving it the exact same way I always have is something special and irreplaceable to me. So, I will never loose anything of what Yew Tee has shown me and hopefully the memories and experiences will help carry me forward in the future. While I don’t intend to study drama, I endeavour to continue in any capacity I can, perhaps at uni when I get there. This is incredibly hard for me to write but I might as well reflect on my time, after all, it’s been one hell of a journey. 

Orange company was where I started, when both it and I was still very young. It was too many years ago to properly remember but I remember I felt immediately at home. The elves and the shoemaker, Giraffe’s can’t dance, and The Grinch, were my first productions. They seem tiny now but felt so huge at the time. I hate to admit it, but I, like everyone, thought myself the next Brad Pitt or Jason Statham! Ridiculous I know but that’s just how much of a thrill it gave me being up there. Helpers such as James and Danny were incredible and seeing their performances in shows like A Christmas Carol, blew my mind. I remember thinking, these guys are brilliant, they really know what they are doing! I idolised them. Even when I reached the levels of Gold and Black company it was strange to realise that I was now in their position. It became even weirder was when I began volunteering in orange company myself some years later, and I was actually helping instruct boys that I had performed in orange company with when I was there. My point is that it’s a beautiful circle for me. Learning, loving, adapting, teaching. I suppose it is this that makes it even harder when I leave, realising it all.

I recall my first proper lead roles as the shoemaker and Hansel. Id never felt so proud of myself when I took those bows, pathing the way for some of my favourite roles I’d ever played as I advanced to sapphire and later gold. D’Artagnan was a special one for me as a lover of stage combat. A very difficult role in performance and fighting (especially after taking some hard knocks with the swords we used) but we pushed through a brilliant show, nevertheless. We always pushed through. Even when we drove Sarah mental sometimes……okay quite often actually, we always managed to put forward a great show. The hard-pushed cramming evenings helped saved me more than once as well.

I say all of this without even mentioning connections, a completely different challenge. I found my ground in connections. In the bonds we made during that time. We were hard pressed and tired very often but to break through with shows such as Chaos, Look Up and of course Ceasefire Babies was worth every moment for me. Going to the nationals with Ceasefire was probably the best experience I have ever had in all honesty. Everything was just perfect. Yes, even the wig. It just felt all so overwhelming the entire time. Something hit different, taking a bow at the National Theatre, side by side with some of my closest ever friends. Friends that will last forever. As much as I was proud of myself, I was so incredibly proud of every one of those talented people that I went with, especially my sister Emily. It is moments like that, that will stay with me forever. 

For the sake of not going on and on, because there is so much I could say about my time, I have a few final things. I want to thank Sarah for everything she’s done over the years, what she’s built at yew tree is truly unparalleled. Its more than just a drama club. It’s a support network, a sanctuary, a safe zone, somewhere where you can leave my troubles at the door. I want to thank Oz for everything he does and has done behind the scenes and all of the volunteers who helped make my time so enjoyable. Of course there’s the people I’ve met, if I were to list everyone that meant so much to me I’d be here forever, but the people I’ve met at yew tree like Connor, Cal, Ellie, Chlo, Mia, Dec and naturally my twin Maddie and those that I became even closer to through drama like Arwen and Jess all mean so much to me.

I’m ready for my next chapter but it will take something really special to outdo my memories here.

Not goodbye but au revoir yew tree. Here’s to the battles lost and won.

Thank You