Emily Berry is our next blogger!
Where do I even start?
I was just going to write about the Christmas shows however a hit of nostalgia has taken place in me and I feel like I should share my thoughts on my whole year at gold (Sorry for the late warning Sarah). Why? Well, I feel like this year my development and growth as not only an actress but also as a person has been immense. So, get ready because we may be in it for the long run with this one!
Starting the year at gold was hard. It is for everyone when they are the kind of new kid however I felt out of place. I had started yew tree in the October of last year and I felt like I barely fit in. Almost the outsider and the kid who wouldn’t be good enough comparing to those around her. When I feel ill on the week on the 2018 Christmas shows that feeling deepened. I came back thinking about how everyone else would just see me as that kid who wouldn’t cut it and I was disappointed in myself. Yet somehow with a few workshops I felt like I proved that not to be as true as I thought. Honestly, my introductory role of 2019 being Steve the bouncer in a hamlet themed Jeremy Kyle show will always stay close to my heart as I don’t think I ever made myself laugh more and trust me, I laugh at everything. Despite this silly tendency within me to make people laugh I got a more serious role. Polonius in our rendition of 15-minute hamlet. Determination overcame me as I just wanted to prove I was a good actress and I got to a place where I felt comfortable with the character.
Yet yew tree isn’t just as plain and simple as that my friends. I ended up swapping characters with a boy, who had good reason to swap so I didn’t mind, and I was once again back at the beginning. This character was the antagonist of the whole play and I had never experienced playing one before, so I was intrigued initially. Well I was always intrigued with characters yet this one I felt like started the reaction. One where I would start to become louder and more confident with my acting but that isn’t the end of my story for 2019. Oh no. That was just the start to a new Emily. So to that opportunity, to Sarah and even to that boy who I swapped with, I will be grateful for an eternity that I got that choice as if it wasn’t for this event I wouldn’t be where I am now.
After the holidays finished and gold started back again it felt quite strange. I had just taken part in the summer school where I had been able to meet many new people but also work with some familiar faces and the atmosphere of personality made an impression. When I started the first session of gold this term a sort of weariness was in everyone and I think it was because we had lost many big personalities to people leaving. It no longer felt like I was the new kid but it also didn’t feel like I fully belonged. So when many newcomers had arrived I wanted to take the opportunity to try and be as open as possible. I wanted to be the person they could look to and think that if I could make them laugh and be loud that they could feel comfortable enough to be themselves and come out of their shells. So I carried on like this, even when I didn’t feel like it. The kind of jokester of gold but also someone who seemed focused and ready. I wanted to be amazing.
When I received my first-choice character I was buzzing with delight. Someone new to work on yet someone I felt I could tackle. It was brilliant. I also received the role of Barbra however it is Bettina I want to focus on. Bettina was my new muse. The girl who didn’t care what people thought and would flirt with those she liked despite what people said and an all-round queen of pettiness and sass. She was where I started to develop my skills as an actor and if it wasn’t for her and Sarah's help I would be nowhere near the standard of acting I am now. Yet it was more than that. Bettina started to effect Emily. Bettina's confidence became Emily's confidence. Bettina's ability to not care about what people thought became Emily's ability. Bettina's ability to talk to anyone and everyone slowly became Emily's
ability. I never expected to gain so much from this character, yet I did. I loved it. Gold finally felt like my family. I felt like people enjoyed me being there. I felt loved.
It wasn’t just the characters I met that impacted me though, it was the people. Every single one. Even if they have not one bit of knowledge as to how they impacted me. So now I just wanted to say a little thank you because it is quite a soppy thing to do and I am too embarrassed to do it in person (yes, I changed but nervous Emily is still in their folks).
To Jacob. You became someone I really looked up to not only as an actor but as a person. The kindness and comedy you brought to gold was amazing and the advice you have given me will always be cherished. Thank you for being a good friend even if you didn’t know you were because even on my bad days at gold some comments you made just made me howl with laughter. So, for that I thank you.
To Orla. My fellow ugly sister. You made me realise that I could trust people more and not only that but bring elements of myself into characters I would never dream of doing this with. You made gold amazing for me this term so thank you.
To Morgan. You made me realise that even though yew tree is a youth theatre we can still bring aspects of maturity into it. That hard work can pay off and that sometimes people need to be told some things. It was this aspect that I wanted to bring to the rehearsal just before we went on stage to make sure everyone brought their best to the performance. So thank you for this.
To Connor. I know we didn’t speak much however it was your portrayal of Dave that inspired me this term. Being able to work alongside this portrayal and imagine how I could take Bettina to the next level from how you were acting as Dave really helped me realise that I shouldn’t limit my ideas. So yeah, thank you for that.
To Sarah and Laura. You pushed me when I needed it. You helped me evolve the way i thought and acted and words cannot describe how grateful I am to the both of you. When I first started coming to gold I was lost and now I feel like I am on top of the world. So thank you for every single praise, comment, tick, tough talk and shout because I really needed it.
To the rest of gold. Callum, Joe, Estelle, Lyla, Jess, Arwen and all the other lovely, charismatic and fun people who I have enjoyed spending time and working with. You are fabulous and I will forever see a family within you all.
Sorry for such a long and surprising talk. I even surprised myself with some things I said. Yet now its time for me to challenge myself even more. To grow even more. So to those in gold company I shall see you next year.
Let the challenges commence.
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