Robin's Connections Blog

 Kiss / Marry / Push off a cliff was my second connections play that I have done with YTYT. As soon as I read it, I fell in love with the script. Although it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, it drew me in with its pure weirdness and mystery. I was so intrigued as to how we would tackle many of the problems that were initially presented to us. After all, showing someone getting pushed off a cliff while inside of a sleeping bag in a youth theatre production isn’t a simple task. However, with the combined effort of an equally talented crew and cast, I believe we were able to do a pretty good job.

I could ramble all day about how much I love characters as a whole. In truth, they are what drew me to connections in the first place. I love being able to delve into their motivations and fears in detail and develop a whole other being rather than myself. I remember there was one character that stood out to me in my first reading. I knew from the start that Marco would be a tricky character. Both in the aspect of how horrid he is as a person and the complexity of his nature. I instantly knew there were so much more to him than meets the eye. He intrigued me in a way that few other characters did and I knew I wanted to help bring him to life. He brought me back to the infamous nature vs nurture debate and whether his actions were a result of his parents or who he was as a person. Furthermore, I knew that this would be the challenge I needed as an actor to step me out of comfort zone. I made the decision to audition for him and managed to get the part.

For the most part, Saturday rehearsals were the highlight of my week. I’d always be looking forward to them and would always wake up excited on the day. I wanted so desperately to better myself and to prove myself as an actor. However, because of this, I feel like I often got in my own way. I’d often get so worked up about not being perfect that I’d sabotage myself in the process. I always felt like I had an imaginary audience. Everyone was watching everything I did and everyone would notice if I made a mistake. In honesty, this was my main obstacle during connections. I’d constantly question whether I was deserving of this role or not and I’d always convince myself I wasn’t good enough for it. However, as I got talking with more members of the cast, I realised that a lot of them also doubted themselves in the same way I did. Even those that I looked up to all had similar anxieties. It helped me realise that irrational thoughts are sometimes just irrational and throughout the process I was able to become a lot more forgiving to myself. The cast was full of amazing and supportive people and we definitely helped each other a lot.

Once they started, Rehearsals went by so quickly. Before I knew it we were ready to perform. The first two performances at the Cluntergate went smoothly. Although I did feel my energy drain towards the end of the day, I found the venue a lot nicer than I expected. However, if I didn’t appreciate the Cluntergate area before I definitely did after we were informed that the venue had double booked us for the second day. This meant we had to find another place to perform and fast. Luckily, the Working Men’s Club opposite took us in. The sudden change was stressful to no one’s surprise. Although some (John) thrived in the chaos of it, I was one of those people who were incredibly apprehensive about performing in the new space. With the sound of drunk men blaring from behind the thin wall separating the pub and us, it was hard to focus at times. We were interrupted twice in total. Once by a lady looking for a coat she had left and once by a man curious as to what we were watching. Despite the obstacles, the cast pushed through and we were able to complete our last 2 local performances and leave the building before the line dancing started at 7.

Overall, being apart of connections this year was an amazing experience and I’m gutted it’s over. I wanted to take some time to talk about what it was like having two directors. The play Kiss/Marry/Push off a cliff is quite vague. The story can change drastically depending on the way it was interpreted which is another reason why I loved it so much. Co-director, John, often interpreted the story darker than Sarah did. It was fascinating how both views made sense in the world of the play and how neither view was incorrect. I’ve not worked with John nearly as much as Sarah but having an entirely different perspective proved useful at times as it was something I wasn’t used to. I will forever be thankful to the both of them for taking time out of their lives to work on connections. Yew Tree as a whole has had such a positive influence on my life and I wouldn’t be half the person I am now without it.

I also wanted to take some more time to talk about the rest of the cast. From the people I’ve known all my life to the people I had never worked with before, each person there was incredible. I loved watching the play evolve as each actor began to develop their character further and further. I know that not everyone in that cast had the best confidence in themselves. Having talked to a few outside of rehearsals, as I said before, it’s surprising how many people seem to doubt themselves. There’s not a single person in that cast that I wouldn’t consider talented and I really hope they can be proud of everything they’ve achieved. I couldn’t have asked for a better group to do this with.

To the cast- if any of you are reading this and feel like you aren’t enough or didn’t belong, I can promise you that other people including myself have felt the same way. You will always be your worst critic and from my eyes, all of you did your respective characters justice. I really hope to see you all next year and if not, we had a good run.

To the crew- Thank you so much for the time you dedicated to bringing the production to life. I seriously could not have done it without you. You are all equally talented in your own right. Words cannot describe how much I appreciate everything you’ve done.

And to Sarah, I could seriously never thank you enough.